Thoughts around relationships, and networking.

Interviewer:  Let's start with something foundational. You've talked about how good strategy relies on asking good questions. How has your experience as a product manager shaped your ability to identify patterns and make connections across different disciplines? What is it about that PM mindset that seems to translate so well to other areas?

Brody: You know, it's interesting - I think the PM mindset is fundamentally about frameworks and transferable thinking processes rather than domain-specific knowledge. In product, every product is uniquely different, but what unifies PMs is how we approach problems - the way we think and the process of thinking itself.

What I've noticed is that both good product management and good strategy come down to the same core skill: knowing what questions to ask, when to push deeper, and how to extract the right information. I was recently talking to someone in strategy who was frustrated because their teams weren't asking enough of the right questions to truly understand their customers. That's exactly the same problem you see in product when teams build features without really understanding user needs.

The pattern recognition comes from seeing that it's not about the specific industry or even the specific role - it's about developing that curiosity muscle and the discipline to dig deeper when something doesn't feel right. Whether you're doing user research, business strategy, or even behavioral science, you're essentially trying to understand human behavior and motivations, then translate that into actionable insights.

Interviewer:  That's fascinating. Speaking of asking good questions, and extracting the right information - let's talk about your networking approach. You've mentioned having this unconventional path where while everyone else was in college building networks within their institutions, you were out connecting with businesses and professionals. That seems to have given you a four-year head start in professional networking that fundamentally shaped how you approach relationships. Do you think there's something about that unconventional path that made you more intentional about networking?

Brody: More intentional? Probably not - but I think it's certainly changed the way that I've formed relationships throughout my life. My sense is that my friends or colleagues who spent time in college gained some really deep connections with people because of shared experiences, social exploration and experimenting, and a shared understanding of the world that was directly around them.

Whereas, I feel like my networking yielded some really incredible connections, but I would call very few of them deep. While some of my closest friends came from institutions where I worked - like at Apple, where that time period felt like the entire thing was about building network - the majority of my network are what I call "transactional relationships." Not in a bad way, but in the way that there are moments of shared experiences that maintain some form of bond, but not so much a deep understanding of each other.

I suppose I see it a bit like these relationships and connections are formed by our communication of the experiences we live separately, rather than the shared experiences informing the relationship. When I invited eight people to my bachelor party five of whom had never met each other - not one of them knew each other - it really highlighted this for me. I had people spanning different generations, completely different professions, from different areas of the world. None of them talk to each other, but they're all meaningful connections to me in their own way.

There are obviously always outliers, but I think in terms of how my network formed, it's created these distinct "rings" that articulate the time and connections of my network tree.

Interviewer:  That bachelor party story is wild - and it really illustrates something interesting about how you approach relationships. You mentioned being comfortable with "transactional relationships" in a healthy way. Here's something that might be controversial - you've talked about accepting the "selfishness" of understanding what you need and use relationships for. Can you elaborate on that? How do you balance being genuinely helpful to people while also being honest about the transactional nature of some professional relationships?

Brody: Yes! It's a spicy topic - and I hope I don't lose any of my relationships over this question 😂. At the end of the day, I think it's really important to understand why you have chosen and continue to choose the people in your life. Everyone has a unique amount of personal energy, and that energy must be spread across all different aspects of life. Relationships take a lot of energy - recognizing the amount of energy a certain person may need from you, or you need from them, helps set proper expectations, even if they're often unspoken.

It's also worth noting that relationships are not static. They ebb and flow and require different things at different times. I remember this Hidden Brain episode that really shaped my thinking on this - they talked about how in the 1900’s (yes, like the decade we were born), there was this strong cultural push toward the idea that your spouse was "the person" who should satisfy all your needs and desires. This is obviously ridiculous - no one can provide everything, whether that's emotional, physical, intellectual, humor, whatever it might be. It's crazy to think one person can do that for years and years and years while you're both constantly changing, sometimes together, sometimes apart.

We all require a network to feel fulfilled, and my goal is to identify how to make that network self-sustaining and work to cover all the aspects of life. I think about relationships like touchpoints - the more touchpoints you have with someone, the stronger that bond becomes. Like, I have this friend I've known since I was five, and honestly, if I met him today, it’s entirely possible we wouldn't be friends. But we have so many touchpoints and shared references that it feels impossible not to be friends, and continue to add more.

I think relationships, friendships, acquaintances, and even the weakest business connections all play a part in how we experience life. If you don't continuously reflect on what you as an individual need from your living network, then you'll never understand how it needs to adjust as you grow. There's a selfishness to understanding what you need and use relationships for, and that's an uncomfortable realization, but when you start to accept that, it actually improves the overall value of the relationships you have with people.

Interviewer:  That's a really thoughtful way to think about it. Speaking of how relationships have evolved - we're living through this massive shift toward remote work, and I'm curious about your perspective on how that's changed professional relationship building. You've seen people struggle with feeling close to remote colleagues but then losing touch when jobs end. How do you think the remote work era has fundamentally changed the way we build meaningful professional connections?

Brody: You know, it's a really good question, but I have a hard time answering this purely about remote work because there's also an age component and life circumstances at play.

That said, remote work has definitely limited the touchpoints that professional relationships used to have. There's no more shared lunches or drinks after work. There's that limited five-minute banter to start each call, which often yields the same surface-level conversation each week. And here's the thing I go back and forth on - the genuine nature of conversations.

I strongly believe in bringing my genuine self to professional relationships, sometimes at the risk of appearing whimsical or unserious (you can watch how I think about seriousness here). But in the remote world, it's very difficult to form an accurate understanding of a person. Similar to how a 30-second TikTok clip doesn't explain an entire story, 50-minute meetings - no matter how many you have - don't capture the full range and capacity of a person. Sure, people were different in the office versus on weekends, but it's undeniable that people have an aura, and you immediately understand certain things about someone when you're in person.

The life circumstances piece is huge though. I've had many professional relationships become stronger and longer-lasting due to shared experiences like having a child. There's a commonality that becomes more important to both parties than work itself.

I often say that remote work has done an incredible job at forming relationships through trauma bonding, but has really lacked the depth and true connections that last long after the trauma has passed. Though I should note - I have made some great connections that started with trauma bonding, but we found depth through placing more effort into those particular relationships after identifying it's something we both wanted to invest in.

Interviewer:  This has been a fascinating conversation about how you think about relationships, networking, and professional growth. As we wrap up, I'm curious - given everything we've discussed about your unconventional path, your philosophy on relationships, and how you help others navigate their careers - if you could go back and give advice to yourself when you were first starting to build your network at Apple, what would you tell that younger version of Brody? And how does that advice reflect what you've learned about the relationship between authenticity and professional success?

Brody: The advice I'd give to myself is to be intentionally playful when creating your network. Your network and the relationships you form should not be viewed as a means to an end. From a professional standpoint, there are many people who view building their network as a task. These are people, not nodes. Enjoy them, enjoy the conversation, embrace the messiness of saying the wrong thing - allow the relationships to ebb and flow. Play around and see what works and why.

Simultaneously, be intentional. Understand and reflect on what you need to grow as a person or a professional. To bring in my product lens - identify your personal or professional problem statements, and explore the relationships that can make a positive impact. Maybe you're fulfilled by one great connection, or maybe you're fulfilled by twenty different people who each offer something small but meaningful. Either way, be intentionally playful when creating and enriching your personal and professional network.